A short narrative on the evils of Mountain Dew

Nervously our hero traverses the narrow strip of pavement heading off into nowhere, swigging Mountain Dew recklessly from the neck of a plastic bottle. A plastic bottle made with the evil intentions and hatred of man. Fearfully he clutches his prize, worried that there will be someone wating to steal it from his grasp at the next turn of the road. The world can be such a cruel and hateful place.